How Not To Teach (Continuum Practical Teaching Guides)

Description:
If you thought reading Gervaise Phinn was like drinking a warm cup of tea, this book will knock you over with the force of a vodka slammer. Mr Read survives the nightmare of planning, Ofsted and an incompetent head...He also takes the class to Ireland, the House of Commons and wins a film award. We guarantee 'Christmas Lights', 'The School Trip' and 'Stressbusters' will make you laugh out loud. A searing indictment of our joyless, exam ridden primary curriculum...'it will take a bareknuckle fight to save its soul.' Down-to-earth and outrageously funny, this guide will prove essential reading for all teachers everywhere.

Table of Contents:
Introduction; 1. The heirs of M-Choakumchild; 2. Some History: How did it ever come to this?; 3. Drowning Not Waving: Teaching in an economically challenged area; 4. Snake Oil: Accelerated Learning a new fad; 5. A Local School for Local People: Starting a New Year; 6. Not the Caine Mutiny: The Head-teacher Leaves; 7. Guided Reading: A Boring LEA Training Session; 8. The Stretch Limo and Prince Charles: Aide stars for a day; 9. The One-Armed Bandit: Some of the odd supply teachers who come into school; 10. Brian: A pupil I'll never forget; 11. A normal afternoon: Inclusion isn't working; 12. Teaching Awards: Not greeted with universal enthusiasm; 13. The ICT lesson from hell: A trip out to the local CLC; 14. Christmas Lights: The choir sing in town, it pours with rain, and the teaching assistant's car gets broken into; 15. Reasons to be Cheerful: Songs to lighten the mood; 16. This is your flight attendant: Classroom assistants as teachers; 17. Help! I'm an ICT Co-ordinator: Problems with ICT; 18. Literacy Planning: Another disastrous training event; 19. How Miss Perfect Lost Her Smile: Briony can't quite handle my class; 20. I'm Bobby Charlton; 21. Luminous Green Snot: Why teachers take sick leave; 22. The Play Script: A lesson that went wrong; 23. The winding road from Ballysomething: Our trip to Ireland; 24. Nothing sacks faster: The Woodhead Years as advertising slogans; 25. Hello! ICT awards; 26. Ten things that are wrong with the Literacy Hour; 27. The File of Files: Why paperwork is destroying teaching; 28. First volume of the collected writings of the major contemporary cultural commentator, Slavoj Zizek, focusing on philosophy and psychoanalysis. 29. Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer: Why they can't get headteachers; 30. Stressbusters: An unusual staff meeting; 31. A quiet rural location: What the adverts really mean; 32. A consultant calls someone else who can't hack my class; 33. Let Them Eat Marrow: School dinners; 34. Looking Down The Barrel of a Shotgun: Our school gets inspected; 35. The Heart of Darkness: The problem with SATs; 36. The icing on the cake: The TES Newsday; 37. Bills New Frock: I get to dress up; 38. Are we nearly there yet? The School Trip; 39. Moving On: The interview that didn't succeed; 40. Recharging the batteries: The end of term; 41. The road to Hull; Conclusion.