What Have I Done?

'Such a raw, honest and important book' Giovanna Fletcher Like any new mum, Laura Dockrill felt rather overwhelmed after the birth of her son. But a slow recovery, sleep deprivation and anxiety quickly escalated into postpartum psychosis, and she had to spend a fortnight in a psych ward, separated from her family. It was only when Laura began to put her ordeal into words that she began to find herself again, and recovery seemed within reach. This is Laura's raw, honest and life-affirming story of how she made it through one of the most frightening experiences a mother can face. Now, she wants to break down the silence around postnatal mental health, shatter the idealised expectations of perfect motherhood, and show all new struggling parents that they are not alone. 'A book to save a whole generation of women' Adele A pleasure to read...I didn't want to put it down. If anyone is going through a similar experience it will make them feel less alone' Philippa Perry 'A humbingly honest and human war report from the front lines of mothering psychosis and recovery; there is no other book like it' Caitlin Moran 'An incredibly powerful book' Jessie Ware 'This book will give women and their families confidence that the brain and body will heal' Dr Jessica Heron, CEO of Action on Postpartum Psychosis 'An amazing read' Fiona Telford, postpartum psychosis survivor Review: Thank you for this book, for shining a light on the darkness of psychosis, an illness that absolutely does happen to people like us. I found this book a balm for my soul, and am grateful to Laura for bravely penning such a beautiful account of an illness that is rarely talked about -- Bryony Gordon Mind-blowing -- Lemn Sissay A book for those of us who didn't have the fairytale. It's important to know that even though things don't always go to plan it doesn't mean you aren't a superhero or a power mum in your own right. Thank you Laura for making us all feel worthy. A must-read for all of those muddling through. -- Paloma Faith I saw the end of the world in her eyes. I knew she was in there somewhere but she was being held prisoner by her mind and we were all helpless to it. Sometimes things happen to us which means we can save other people, my own experience with mental health helped save her and now here she is about to save a whole generation of women! -- Adele A humblingly honest and human war-report from the front lines of mothering, psychosis and recovery: there is no other book like it, and it is so desperately needed. -- Caitlin Moran Amazing. This book is proof that although Laura's mind was her undoing, it is also an incredible asset which is going to help so many people. -- Clemmie Telford Amazing. This book is proof that although Laura's mind was her undoing, it is also an incredible asset which is going to help so many people. -- Fiona Telford, postpartum psychosis survivor Laura's raw, honest book gets to the core of postpartum psychosis. Her style is blunt, graphic, diary-like, unflinchingly confessional - at times so colloquial that we feel we know her, or we want to know her: for her bravery in writing this book, for her humanity, for her sisterhood. She has emerged with a greater understanding of self, with deeper compassion for those who suffer from mental illness, and with a determination to combat stigma and ignorance by speaking out. Ultimately I hope this book will give women and their families confidence that the brain and body will heal. And I hope it will encourage other women to speak out. -- Dr Jessica Heron, CEO, Action on Postpartum Psychosis An incredibly powerful book. Brave, brilliant and so, so important. -- Jessie Ware This book will bring hope to many women and their partners who have struggled with their mental health during this already nerve-wracking and overwhelming time. -- Becca Maberly, @AMotherPlace Author Biography: Laura Dockrill is an award winning author and illustrator. What Have I Done? is Laura's first book for adults. She has written thirteen books for children and young adults. She has been shortlisted for the Waterstones Book of The Year Prize, long listed for the Carnegie Medal and shortlisted for the YA Book Prize 2018. She has earned plaudits like 'Top 10 literary Talent' from The Times. Laura has appeared on a host of TV programmes; CBeebies, Blue Peter, Newsnight and BBC Breakfast to name a few. Her radio prowess spans across the entire BBC network, having performed works on Radio 1 through 6 including Woman's Hour and Open Book. She has written for the BFI, BBC Radio, Channel 4, The British Council, The Young Vic and the National Theatre. Laura is on the advisory panel at The Ministry Of Stories, and has judged many literary prizes including the John Betjeman Poetry Prize, BBC National Short Story Prize and the BAFTA Children's Prize.